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1st September 2014

Question reblogged from Bisexual/non-Monosexual & Queer Community with 864 notes

Anonymous said: As a fellow bisexual woman, I've got a few hate messages saying some things among the lines of ''bisexual people are just transphobic pansexuals'', what's your opinion on that?

claudiaboleyn:

My opinion is that the pansexual vs bisexual thing has to end. It’s so petty and pointless and when we’re divided, it stops us from focussing on the real issues like bi and pan erasure, and y’know, general human rights. 

Bisexuals and pansexuals should be friends. We’re very similar. Some of us even define ourselves in exactly the same way. 

Being bisexual isn’t transphobic because the most broadly used definition of bisexuality is: attraction to same and different genders or attraction to more than one gender.

Trans people don’t have their own special category. Trans men are men. Trans women are women. 

When I say I’m attracted to women, I mean women. Obviously including trans women. 

When I say I’m attracted to men, I mean men. Obviously including trans men. 

When I say I am attracted to non-binary people, I mean exactly that. 

I don’t think it’s a difficult concept for people to grasp, so I think this argument is rooted in biphobia, not in concern for the trans community. 

Bisexuality is not problematic by definition. Sure, there are going to be individual bisexuals that are transphobic but there are bad eggs in just about every group in the world. This isn’t a problem unique to the bi community, and to frame it like that is just plain biphobia. 

I could define myself as pansexual or bisexual. Most bisexuals probably could. I chose bisexuality because it is more broadly known about, and I am very determined to show people that bisexuality isn’t wrong. I refuse to not call myself bisexual because biphobic people are uncomfortable with the term for bigoted, unfounded, and ignorant reasons. 

Seriously, why are we hating on each other? We’re supposed to be a community. We get enough hate and abuse from the outside world. We don’t need this pointless bullshit on top of all that. 

xxx

Tagged: one million times thisbisexualitypansexualityidentity

Source: claudiaboleyn

31st August 2014

Question with 1 note

Anonymous said: @Anon about being attracted to trans guys: I'm a trans guy myself and would have a problem dating someone who identified as a lesbian, but of course it's normal to have preferences. Just remember that a trans guy's anatomy is not the same as a cis female's, nor will they probably use it in the same way. But if you were to say you're attracted to people AFAB or with certain genitalia, that would be a lot more trans-inclusive.

Thanks for chiming in! :) 

Tagged: transgenderidentityAnonymous

31st August 2014

Question with 104 notes

Anonymous said: Hi <3 I have no one else to ask, so I'm asking you. I hope it's okay. I am a bisexual girl. I will always be. And I am dating a guy. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, and I feel like my sexuality is being taken away from me. I can't speak openly about being bi since I pass as hetero, and since everyone assume I'm hetero, and to be quite frank, i do feel bad about it and I definately feel like i am not a part of the community. Do other bisexuals often feel like I do?

Oh, darling. Other bisexuals feel like you do all the time. I’ve been feeling like you do since the moment I accepted who I was, and to be honest, it’s gotten in the way of accepting who I am. It’s always going to be frustrating, and there will always be people who try to bring you down and tell you you’re less important or less valuable or less real. You’re not. You’re every bit as authentic as you feel, no matter what you look like or who you’re with. Surround yourself with people who validate you and who let you speak out about things that matter to you. Your identity is yours to live and own and experience, and the rest of the world can never take it away from you, even if it tried, even if it wanted to. Hang in there. <3 

Tagged: bisexualitybi erasurefrom youanonymousAnonymous

26th August 2014

Photoset reblogged from Freedom to Marry with 153 notes

freedomtomarry:

As we await the audio from today’s 7th Circuit marriage cases, check out these quotes from the landmark District Court rulings from Indiana and Wisconsin, and reblog! http://bit.ly/1ARbBmD

19th August 2014

Question with 1 note

Anonymous said: How can I tell if I'm bi? I've been questioning for a few months and I'm really confused. I don't think my family would support me at all so I'm scared to tell them how I feel

Nobody can tell you except you, lovey. If you need to bounce ideas around with people you know and trust, find a few supportive friends, wherever they may be, and tell them how you’re feeling. You don’t have to make any decisions until you’re ready; you and only you decide how and when to come out. <3 

Tagged: Anonymous

26th July 2014

Question with 2 notes

Anonymous said: Is it transphobic to say that I'm into trans guys but not cis guys... Like I used to identify as a lesbian but now I also likes trans guys. I don't want to make trans men's identities not truly male but I honestly only find myself occassionally attracted to men if they're trans

I honestly don’t know. I’m cis and have only been with cis people, so I don’t feel qualified to answer this, but I know that plenty of people with trans partners have written at length about being attracted to guys only if they’re trans (Diane Anderson-Minshall is one, and her article sparked a lot of controversy). If anyone else wants to chime in, feel free! 

Tagged: lgbtqtranscisattractionfrom youAnonymous

26th July 2014

Question with 9 notes

Anonymous said: I am currently 15 and I came out to my mom as bisexual a few months ago. When I told her, she was super supportive and told me that you would accept me no matter my sexual orientation... But then she said that "However, I would believe this more if you were older." .... It hurt a lot when she said that, but I didn't say anything because at least she said you WOULD accept me. Should I have said something?

That’s really frustrating, and I’m sorry her acceptance was tarnished by that. Unfortunately, it’s a pretty common thing for parents to experience, so there is no right or wrong way for you to respond. You could have said that 15 is plenty old enough to know who you are (nobody tells straight 15-year-olds they’re “too young to know”) but it’s okay that you didn’t, too. Acceptance is a great place to start, even if it’s hesitant, and she’ll come around completely before too long. Good luck. <3 

Tagged: coming outlgbtqfrom youbisexualityAnonymous

26th July 2014

Question with 5 notes

Anonymous said: Over the past few months, I've started to realize that I might be bi-gender, or at least non- binary. Throughout this process I've never felt dysphoric at all. Is this unusual? Should I start somehow checking if my thoughts are inaccurate?

I’m cis and therefore can’t speak directly to these experiences, BUT from what I’ve read, you don’t have to experience dysphoria to identify as non-binary. Your feelings are your feelings, and everyone experiences their gender identity and their relationship to their body differently. Non-binary friends, is that right? 

Tagged: lgbtqgendernonbinarybigenderAnonymous

3rd July 2014

Question with 37 notes

Anonymous said: Does anybody else find it weird that you have to come out as being gay, and that everyone just *assumes* that your straight? I feel like that's complete BS and I want to know why that is.

Because heteronormativity. We see more straight people than LGBT people in the media, in pop culture, etc; we don’t really know how many LGBT people are out there because we’re intimidated and harassed into silence; we’re taught that we are wildly outnumbered because mainstream society has forced us into thinking we’re unworthy of occupying space in the public sphere. Straight until proven gay. It’s absolute BS. 

Tagged: Anonymous

3rd July 2014

Question with 3 notes

Anonymous said: I'm an 18-y-o girl. Had a couple of boyfriends that I got vaguely physical with, and didn't feel anything at all. I don't really "get" attraction (I have only recently learned that understanding someone is attractive in general is not the same as actually being attracted to them), and I'm starting to wonder if I'm asexual. I really don't know! I did some reading on the internet, and floated the subject with my mom, who replied "No you're not" and who now thinks I'm horribly repressed. Help?

It’s okay to feel like that! I am not asexual, so I don’t have any experience that I can share in comparison. But know that whatever you are feeling is valid, and you don’t have to label it until you’re ready to (or at all, ever). I’m sorry about your mom; sometimes there’s a generational divide when it comes to any identities beyond “gay” and “straight.” There are a lot of asexual bloggers out there who can help you, though, so I’d look them up and ask about their experiences. Good luck! You’re gonna be okay. 

Tagged: asexualityAnonymous